Life-long dreams are something not many of us ever get the courage or opportunity to realise. So many put their dreams on the back-burner in favour of more practical or attainable goals such as a stable income (which is fair enough – we’ve all got to eat!). Another common inhibitor is self-doubt – an oppressive and soul-destroying creature that I am all too familiar with. Whilst I still strung with self-doubt from time to time, life has recently taken me on a journey that has transformed and empowered me to realise my dream. Let me tell you how.
Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
Some of my earliest memories are of playing around on my mother’s organ, which she used to play in her family’s dance band. This eventually led to me starting piano lessons at age 7 and then starting to write and perform original music at age 13. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said “a singer/songwriter”. I was a total music nerd at high school and went on to study music at QUT. It seemed like my life was on track. I was following my destiny, working on turning my passion into a career.
Something happened to me at uni, however. That dreaded self-doubt sunk its claws into me and did not let go. I dropped out of uni whilst almost at the end of my degree and stopped writing. I even stopped playing. For around 7 or 8 years, my relationship with music did not extend past that of an avid music fan.
The musician part of me had seemingly floated beyond the stratosphere, never to return.
During this “period of non-music”, as it shall be known, I was also in a relationship that was very toxic for me (which later provided a lot of fodder for songwriting, at least) and it took me a long time to come to this realisation. I was living life as some half-genuine shadow version of myself that I did not even like. My soul was suffocating and was on the brink of a slow and painful death if something did not change. I was entirely lost.
Thankfully, what you are born to do has a way of seeking you out eventually. I managed to find the strength to reach out to some of my closest friends for help. I had an epiphany that music had been an integral part of my life. If I was to find myself again, I would need to find music again. My best friend sent me a link to this new thing she’d heard of called “I Heart Songwriting Club”. It sounded good and I decided to sign up for a term and give it a go. Little did I know, this was the catalyst for a major life overhaul.
As I signed up for term after term with I Heart Songwriting Club, I felt a huge shift in my personal universe.
Through the act of getting back into songwriting, the supportive and encouraging community I suddenly found myself, the encouragement to let go of self-doubt and open my eyes to the act of songwriting as a process that can be practised and improved (I could go on for hours here).
I found purpose and confidence and hope. I eventually summoned the courage to leave that toxic relationship and my life is now better than I could have thought possible just 2 1/2 years ago.
Through I Heart Songwriting Club’s weekly songwriting practice, the encouraging feedback I received from my group and my participation in several of the workshops the club has facilitated over the past 12 months (including topics such as music videos and recording and producing), I am now in the midst of self-promoting my debut single, which was written in one hour as part of the club. I met producer/mixer, Nick O’Donnell of “Make Music Not War”, through the production workshops who worked with me on this single and we are now in the process of recording my debut EP which will be released later this year. The help and support the I Heart Songwriting Club has gifted me in preparing for this release is something I will be eternally grateful for.
I may never get to play for sold-out stadiums as I imagined as a child (or maybe I will?).
My single may not reach number one and it may not even chart. But I am here – I am doing it! I am living my dream. I can confidently call myself a singer/songwriter and a recording artist. And if this single doesn’t take off? Self-doubt will no longer stand in my way. I will keep going. And for that, I Heart Songwriting Club, I am forever grateful.
If you are reading this and have been considering joining the club, I hope my story has convinced you to try it out. Just do it – sign up. Who knows where it will lead you.
Laudy’s debut single, “Lioness’, was digitally released on 29 June 2018. She will be launching the single at the City Sounds Showcase, hosted by I Heart Songwriting Club, on 27 July 2018 at the Queen Street Mall main stage.
